scoop on poop

As basically everyone knows, I have bowel problems. Since I have been blessed with this there have been many other people who quietly come out of the closet to be about their bowel problems too. I have become the president of the secret bowel problem society. If you want to join, there is a $35 fee. I take cash or check. Just send me a Facebook message. 

 With my recent endeavors to do a 360 with my rump, I have found that most people know a little about the scoop on poop. You are going to be blessed with some little facts. 

 1. You should poop one foot a day. (Shoot, I try to double this. That is my daily goal.) 

 2. You're poop should float. (I have tried and tried and I still don't have very much success with this.)

 3. A human farts 14 times on an average day. (No comment.) 

 4. You should eat 25 grams of fiber a day. (I start my day with fiber one ceral and some fiber supplements. That always gets me starting off the day strong.) 

 5. You cannot prairie dog the squirts. (Enough said.) 

 6. Everyone poops. (If you have to poop in a public place... Do it. No shame. Just pray that it doesn't sound like a fireworks show going off.) 

 7. Eat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc and you will be so regular. 

 8. If you feel a little stopped up take a laxative at night. (Just make sure that you clear your morning schedule. You are going to be a little preoccupied.) 

 There you go. Now you get to see a glimpse into the life of Megan Butler. I keep track of most of these things just so I know the next day I will not be in pain. In the end my advice to you would be: Eat lots of fiber and stay regular.