Disclaimer: This is just a huge culture difference many volunteers have noticed. There are many outstanding men here in Zambia.
Dating here. Welp, let me tell you. I have not.
Mu Zambia traditionally men are supposed to be very forward and to come off strong. They know what they want and they are going to get it. On the flip-side: girls are supposed to refuse the man even when she wants him and finally submit in the end.
Ku America we all know when a girl says, "No" she means, "Don't even look at me."
Can you see the struggle?
Basically, I met a guy that seems like he could be super cool and let's try to be friends. He WhatsApps me and we start a conversation. By the end of week one with out a shadow of a doubt he has sent some creepy message coming off way too strong about building a future together, send me a picture of you ________ (fill in the blank with whatever you like) or his deep love.
Homeboy. Calm down. You just killed anything there might have been.
But maybe, you are willing to give him a second chance. You throw out the, "I'm just looking for a friend line," or send him a picture of your dog instead. (Remember what I told you about what men are like traditionally here.)
Another few weeks go by and it is like the wedding is already planned. All you need to do is walk down the aisle and say yes. The man is so forward. He talks of deep affections, marriage, future, names for your kids together and you name it.
So, I shut it down: "Sorry sir. You are creeping me out. You should have tried the friend route." Just like that.
It makes me wonder... maybe I am too American?
God bless their sweet spirits and forward selves. It is an adjustment for me. Maybe I am in the wrong?
Dating here. Welp, let me tell you. I have not.
Mu Zambia traditionally men are supposed to be very forward and to come off strong. They know what they want and they are going to get it. On the flip-side: girls are supposed to refuse the man even when she wants him and finally submit in the end.
Ku America we all know when a girl says, "No" she means, "Don't even look at me."
Can you see the struggle?
Basically, I met a guy that seems like he could be super cool and let's try to be friends. He WhatsApps me and we start a conversation. By the end of week one with out a shadow of a doubt he has sent some creepy message coming off way too strong about building a future together, send me a picture of you ________ (fill in the blank with whatever you like) or his deep love.
Homeboy. Calm down. You just killed anything there might have been.
But maybe, you are willing to give him a second chance. You throw out the, "I'm just looking for a friend line," or send him a picture of your dog instead. (Remember what I told you about what men are like traditionally here.)
Another few weeks go by and it is like the wedding is already planned. All you need to do is walk down the aisle and say yes. The man is so forward. He talks of deep affections, marriage, future, names for your kids together and you name it.
So, I shut it down: "Sorry sir. You are creeping me out. You should have tried the friend route." Just like that.
It makes me wonder... maybe I am too American?
God bless their sweet spirits and forward selves. It is an adjustment for me. Maybe I am in the wrong?
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