happiest moment

Kaleigh and I went to a presentation at SFSU. There was a panel of 4 people and they asked them their happiest moments.

One talked about how his neighbor's child's first word was his name.
Another talked about searching the Mongolian countryside for horses.
This man talked about taking kids out of their village for their first time ever and introducing them to the capital.
The first man also talked about when his soccer team he coached only lost by 3 to an adult team and was ecstatic.

And the list goes on of times they mentioned.

It got me to thinking. What is my happiest moment in life?
I know exactly when I was the happiest and this is all due to change as I get older.

It was my first year in Kenya. My roomie, Allynne, and I went to Nairobi for the first time ever for the weekend. We had fun hanging out with other volunteers but were excited to get back to Thika to see our boys. The taxi guy was on Kenyan time and picked us up late and then the traffic was really bad. We felt like there was no way we were going to make it to Thika before our boys went to bed.

We pulled into the compound way past the boy's bed time but too our heart's delight we saw that the boy's lights in the dorm were still on. Allynne and I dropped our stuff at our door and ran to the dorm. I didn't think this was possible but the boys seemed more excited to see us then we were to see them.

We only got around the corner before the screaming and excitement started.
"Mzungo! Mzungo! Mzungo!"

Allynne and I got to the dorms and opened the door. A flood of orphan boys jumped into my arms and hugged me from all sides. The ones who could speak a little English told us they thought we went back home and are so glad we are here to stay awhile.

Never in my life have I felt so much joy. I could have exploded, knowing that in my short 1 week stay in Kenya the boys had fallen in love with me as much as they had smitten me.

for the curious

The question of the hour from everyone and their mother: 

"So Megan, what is in the plans now?"

If I knew I would love to tell you. How about you tell me what I should be doing. Make my life a little more easy. 

After that question people start throwing out ideas:

They always start with the job idea. "How is the job search going? Are you working?" 

I am working. I work at a YMCA day care program for a bunch of extremely wealthy kids that go to a on school site program. It is quite the switch from working with kids that have no parents to these kids that are 5 with parents and all have iPads.  

Another question because... well, I am the 2nd oldest and it is a hot topic: 

"How are the male prospects?"

Complicated. Let's leave it at that and with the dear lord.

 Next we find ourselves on the Africa subject:

"When are you going back?"

I wish I knew. I want to be there almost every single day of my life. (There are moments when I am super thankful to live in America. I would not trade my citizenship.) My heart yearns to be surrounded by black people and the Kiswahili language. 

There always a bunch of other questions:

"Have you thought about getting your masters?"

Yes. I have thought about it. Who doesn't?

"What do you want to do with the rest of your life?"

I have no freaking clue or else I could have answered the last ten million questions.

And they go on and on and on and on. 

No one tells you at after you graduate from college you still really have no idea what you are doing. It always looked like everyone else had their lives so planned out and ready when they were my age. I have been fooled. This is an age of pure confusion and trying to figure out where you fit in. 

Remember middle school and that feeling of not really knowing where you belonged? Yeah, it is kind of like that but amplified because now it is real life and does effect your future directly. 

I am at this crossroads which is more like a spaghetti bowl of choices in what I want to do. I don't want to stay with the YMCA. I don't want to be home for a long period of time. I think all I know is what I do not want. I am not too sure on what I do want. 

I want to be happy and follow my heart. 

For now I have not made any permanent choices. I want to keep my options open because what I have right now is definitely not what I want long term but good for now.

Here are some sister pictures from Kerianna's wedding. Random for this blog post. I know. 

Enjoy.

'merica

I have been here for a few months now. It guess it is time to blog. I got home from Kenya in April. Leaving was awful. Coming home was the pits but having a loving family to come home to is great. I got to California and left for Idaho less than 48 hours later. I was trying to remember why that all happened so fast and it is because we missed our original flight. Kaleigh and I got an extra day in Kenya. Talk about a high stress moment in my life. 

I got to school. It was great. I had some freaking crazy roomies. One of them meet and got engaged to a guy within 9 days. I had roomies from the South that tried to convert me to their ways. The closest I got was going crawfishing and saying, "Y'all come back now." It always feels so unnatural to say it. I don't really remember any crowning moments from this semester. Most days, I hung out with a lot of African people. They were almost my only friends and I miss them so much. Julianne Hansen was also up at school and I loved that. 

My roomies: Sarah, Courtney, Chelsea, Morgan and Hannah

It was my last semester. I graduated from BYU-Idaho. It does not even feel real. I cannot be that old. I am now in the market for an internship in Recreation Management. If you have any leads, please help a sister out. I am willing to go anywhere. I am always up for an adventure. 

And what has happened since then? I went on a pioneer trek with my home stake youth. It was so wonderful. I am still not 100% sure what my job was but I was there and willing to help where ever was needed. 

Kerianna got married. I have no pictures of that yet. It was great and simple. There was no bridezilla. It has provided me with ample cousin time. That is a blessing. 

And that is my life. 

hurt

Kaleigh and I will be walking through town and see a crowd of people circling around something. Being white girls in Kenya it is just a good idea to avoid those gatherings because you never know what is happening. I really try to keep us safe. But you know when it is someone hurt.

This happens all the time. I don't always know how people get hurt but you will come across people sitting on the ground crying their hearts out because they are hurt. The Kenyans will form a circle around this injured person and just stare. No one does anything.

Kaleigh and I come up on this situation all the time. It is always when we are pressed for time or in a rush. Everything in me wants to help them but I am always filled with so much insecurity that out weighs the desire. I worry that they only speak Swahili and I don't know enough. I am worried that I will try to help and just embarrass myself. You know... selfish things.

I do carry around a first aid kit with me. I give out bandaids here and there but that is about it. Towards the end of my time in Kenya all I had was bandaids in my bag because I took out the rest.

The last week we were in Kenya, Kaleigh and I were checking off things we needed to do in town. We swung by our video guy to pick up some music. On the way out of his little shop we witnessed a teenage street kid get hit by a truck. It was insta-craziness. All the street kids were screaming and making noise. The circle of Kenyans was beginning to form. Everyone was just staring... Including me.

He had a huge chunk of flesh missing from his ankle and blood was going everywhere. All I had was bandaids. If I had the rest of my first aid kit there I could have done so much. I was shaking and almost in tears. I have never felt so helpless over a situation I could have helped.

A piki piki driver came by and offered to take him to the hospital. They pile this helpless boy on the back on a motorcycle with 2 other street kids. I gave them 1000 shillings and they were on their way. As they drove the injured kid left a trail of blood on the road.

I never saw that street kid again but I pray that he is okay.

I vow that the next time I am in Kenya and see someone hurt... no matter how busy I am... I will stop and fully help them because I will keep my first aid kit stocked.

I never want to feel the way I felt watching that boy drive away dripping blood on the back of a motorcycle. 

piki piki wisdom

I love taking motorcycle taxis. It is my favorite way to get around Kenya. I am 98% sure that it also is the most dangerous but nothing beats the rush of the wind in your hair. A lot of Kenyans are afraid to ride on the back of a piki piki but not I. I jump at every opportunity.

To get to the Abilla's place we have to take a piki piki from the highway or to get from town to their place we take a piki piki to where we can catch a matatu. Without fail we always take a piki piki or two or four when we visit them. It is a blessing.

There are a wide range of different drivers we get. Some of them know zero English. Some drivers are super chatty. Some drivers like to go fast. Some drivers are really nervous to have a white person on the back of their bike. Some drivers want to brag to all their friends they have a white girl on the back of their bike as we drive past them. Every driver is different.

I was on the back of a piki piki going from the Abilla's place to the matatu stage. This driver was especially chatty. Earlier in the day it had rained. He apologized for his wet clothes and the fact they were getting me a little damp. I really did not mind.

As a side note: Most Kenyans hate the rains because of the mud and they have to walk in it. It is really understandable. This was the rainy season when I took his ride and all I ever heard was complaints about the rain. 

Of course his wet clothes brought up the subject of the rain. He had a totally different perspective to the rain then anyone I had talked to. "I am grateful for the rains. If there is rain it means there will be food on the table for my family to eat. When there is no rain the crops don't grow."

Boom. This man knew where it was at. He loves the rains. He is willing to deal with the mud for the blessings it gives his family.

That was my dose of piki piki wisdom for the day. 

dimples

I am just at a loss of words. I love this picture. Peter Jimmy all cuddled up in my lap. 

Today I was super tired because some of the boys from my ward slept over last night and kept us up all night and then woke up around 5:30. 

What the heck?

So I was laying in the grass. Peter Jimmy took his cute little body and curled it up right against mine. Just as cute as he is in this picture. He doesn't speak English. He basically only knows, "yes."He also has a little lisp and the deepest dimples. Kaleigh and I would ask him a bunch of questions. 

"Are you cute?"

"YES"

"Am I making you blush?"

"YES"

He would smile more and more with each question. His dimples are so freaking cute.

Then he got a piece of long grass and would tickle my face with it. I closed my eyes for a little bit and before I knew it there was Bryo blowing in my ear. He would tell me to wake up and then blow in my ear. It was the weirdest feeling. Who knew that blowing in someone's ear wakes them up?

Moments like these are the reason I long to come back to Kenya. 

the end is in sight

We are in our last few days in Kenya. It doesn't feel real. I can count the days on one hand.

I sit with the boys and play with them. I think to myself:
"When in my life will I have another opportunity to have a bunch of orphan boys play with my hair?"
"When will I ever experience beautiful skies like this again?"
"I am so lucky to be a part of this child's life."
"I need to take in this moment."
"I am going to miss this so much."
"I am so blessed."
"When will I come back? I need to come back."

Mostly I always think about how I am so grateful for this experience. I still don't really know why I came to Kenya this year. That is honest.

Like I always say... I love Kenya. More then ever.

Every year I become more and more like a local and people tell me that all the time.
I just need to up and move here because going home always feels like it is going to kill me.

Life in Kenya is normal.
This is home.
Home is where your heart is.